Fast and Furious Pranks

I don’t think I’m ever going to be as as mature as my parents. In fact, I know I’m not because I’ve already begun planning pranks for when I’m their age. 30 years from now, when we’re all in self driving cars and stuff, I’m going to start telling young people that The Fast & The Furious was a documentary series.

Son, this is really just how we all drove. Dinging your bumper as you drift through a crowd to avoid a drone strike? No biggie, it happens to the best of us. Accidentally taking the wrong shortcut from one building to another in Dubai? That’s exactly what insurance is for.

I really think it could work because by then I’ll just be some innocent looking old guy with absolutely no reason whatsoever to lie about it. And that’s what makes it brilliant. But let’s say someone pushes back and seems skeptical. I have one fact that will instantly give me credibility. I’m going to ask them to look up how Paul Walker died. 1

I think the only thing that could potentially ruin this prank is that there’s a real possibility that the series is still around and popular 30 years from now. I can see the promos already:

Coming August 2047: The 20th instalment of the world’s greatest film series, Fast and FuryXX. Starring Taylor Lautner as Vin Diesel’s ethnically ambiguous son in a literal space race for the ages.

I’m making fun of it like I wouldn’t go see it but I’d definitely go see it. They’ll probably be blowing up entire planets by then and who doesn’t want to see that?

  1. This is the unfortunate part of the post where I have to explain that Paul Walker, the star (former star I guess..) of The Fast and the Furious died in a car accident. Obviously a sad and unfortunate situation, but it’s nice to know that god has a sense of humour.