Double Positives

At some point in school you probably learned about the double negative rule in mathematics. For those of you who either don’t remember or who have consciously chosen to block all math from your life due to childhood trauma, the rule essentially states that subtracting a negative number is equivalent to adding that number. Simply put, two negatives make a positive. Unfortunately, many schools fail to teach the lesser known double positive rule which states that in some rare instances two positives can make a negative. Below are a few examples of the double positive rule in action:

Fruit + cake = fruitcake

Rap freestyles + social justice advocacy = spoken word

Cooking fried food + being naked = awkward emergency room visit

Water + electricity = death

Chocolate + cute puppy = heartbreaking death

Clubbing + baby seals = literally many heartbreaking deaths

Red + blue = purple

Sex + family = traumatic orgy

Toothpaste + orange juice = traumatic mouth orgy

Pizza + pineapples = crime against humanity