At some point in school you probably learned about the double negative rule in mathematics. For those of you who either don’t remember or who have consciously chosen to block all math from your life due to childhood trauma, the rule essentially states that subtracting a negative number is equivalent to adding that number. Simply put, two negatives make a positive. Unfortunately, many schools fail to teach the lesser known double positive rule which states that in some rare instances two positives can make a negative. Below are a few examples of the double positive rule in action:
Fruit + cake = fruitcake
Rap freestyles + social justice advocacy = spoken word
Cooking fried food + being naked = awkward emergency room visit
Water + electricity = death
Chocolate + cute puppy = heartbreaking death
Clubbing + baby seals = literally many heartbreaking deaths
Red + blue = purple
Sex + family = traumatic orgy
Toothpaste + orange juice = traumatic mouth orgy
Pizza + pineapples = crime against humanity