Most Common Last Words by Age Group

0 – 1: Not applicable for obvious and sad reasons.
1 – 9: Unintelligible crying that was instinctively tuned out by all parties within earshot.
9 – 26: Hey guys, check this out!
27: At least I’m in that cool club I guess.
28 – 50: I mean I’m pretty sure I remember signing up for the extra life insurance coverage.
50+: Jesus, finally.