Vegan Chicken Omelette

I’m pretty sure one of my friends has the world’s dumbest twitter bio, and in true Twitter form she’s managed to do it in only four words. Her Twitter bio says:

Vegan 1 and animal lover

It’s redundant right? I don’t know about you but I’ve never met anyone who’s vegan for the flavor benefits. I highly doubt that there’s even one vegan out there that thought “Fuck the animals, I just really love broccoli. It’s delicious.” That’s never happened.

Veganism is fascinating to me because vegans choose and often pay a lot of money to avoid meat products because it goes against their beliefs and my beliefs are the complete opposite of that. I believe that there’s no amount of money equivalent to a good piece of chicken. Somebody could literally offer me a billion dollars to go vegan and I honestly think I’d say no. 2 Chicken is just that important to my happiness right now. 3

One of my favorite meals is the chicken omelette. The chicken omelette has to be the most aggressive way one species can just completely dominate another species. A chicken omelette starts with a chicken abortion (of a completely innocent baby chicken) and then continues with the murder of it’s presumably grieving chicken mother, chopping her up, and then combining their dead remains to create a delicious hearty breakfast. That’s messed up. Maybe vegans really do have a point after all.

  1. One word in and not a great start
  2. Don’t get me wrong, I’d definitely sleep on it because that’s a major hypothetical life decision but ultimately, I just don’t think that’s enough to compensate for a sad chicken free life.
  3. I will refuse to let black stereotypes take the joy of eating chicken away from me until I die. Rosa parks drew the line at a bus seat, I’m drawing the line at Popeye’s.