I’m pretty sure one of my friends has the world’s dumbest twitter bio, and in true Twitter form she’s managed to do it in only four words. Her Twitter bio says:
Vegan 1 and animal lover
It’s redundant right? I don’t know about you but I’ve never met anyone who’s vegan for the flavor benefits. I highly doubt that there’s even one vegan out there that thought “Fuck the animals, I just really love broccoli. It’s delicious.” That’s never happened.
Veganism is fascinating to me because vegans choose and often pay a lot of money to avoid meat products because it goes against their beliefs and my beliefs are the complete opposite of that. I believe that there’s no amount of money equivalent to a good piece of chicken. Somebody could literally offer me a billion dollars to go vegan and I honestly think I’d say no. 2 Chicken is just that important to my happiness right now. 3
One of my favorite meals is the chicken omelette. The chicken omelette has to be the most aggressive way one species can just completely dominate another species. A chicken omelette starts with a chicken abortion (of a completely innocent baby chicken) and then continues with the murder of it’s presumably grieving chicken mother, chopping her up, and then combining their dead remains to create a delicious hearty breakfast. That’s messed up. Maybe vegans really do have a point after all.
- One word in and not a great start ↩
- Don’t get me wrong, I’d definitely sleep on it because that’s a major hypothetical life decision but ultimately, I just don’t think that’s enough to compensate for a sad chicken free life. ↩
- I will refuse to let black stereotypes take the joy of eating chicken away from me until I die. Rosa parks drew the line at a bus seat, I’m drawing the line at Popeye’s. ↩